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By Leland Gregory

Best-selling slapstick comedian Leland Gregory bargains a blockbuster choice of greater than 2 hundred extraordinary, bizarre, foolish, stunning, and downright outrageous precise tales approximately historic Greek and Roman history.

New York Times best-selling writer Leland Gregory is one in all Andrews McMeel Publishing’s such a lot winning noncartoon humorists. foolish, surprising, bizarre, hilariously funny—and outrageously true—the brief anecdotes inside of his anthologies of human stupidity are culled from print, on-line, and broadcast media from all around the world. Inside Stupid historic History, Gregory chronicles Greek philosophers, Roman conquerors, and historical mythconceptions, including:

 
— To struggle off Roman ships in three hundred BC, Carthaginians catapulted stay snakes at them.
— The Athenian lawmaker Draco died of suffocation whilst presents of cloaks have been showered upon him via thankful voters at an Aegina theater in 620 BC. 
— In historical Rome, lengthy prior to the arrival of the Christian Bible, Roman males swore to “tell the reality, the total fact, and not anything however the fact” via putting their correct hand on their testicles. It is from this ritual that we derived the time period “testimony.”
—  Of the Seven Wonders of the traditional international, The Temple of Artemis in Ephesus burned to the floor in 356 BC. The arsonist was once completed; and to ensure his want for eternal reputation wouldn’t come actual, it was once ordered that his identify be troubled from all files and not pointed out again. But humans will talk. Despite all efforts, his identify leaked, and Herostratus is remembered as the most infamous firebugs in history. 

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Pliny, traditional background 28. 18. 26. ) “URINE can be USED FOR putting off INK SPOTS. MALE URINE therapies GOUT; WITNESS THE FULLERS for example, WHO, accordingly, it truly is stated, ARE by no means stricken WITH THAT disorder. ” (PLINY, ordinary background 28. 18. ) depart good adequate on my own Elagabalus (Marcus Aurelius Antoninus Augustus), often referred to as Heliogabalus, was once Roman emperor from A. D. 218 to 222. in the course of his four-year reign he definitely pissed lots of people off. First, he married the vestal virgin Julia Aquilia numerous, which he wasn’t imagined to do. Vestal virgins have been hugely commemorated priestesses who dedicated themselves ahead of puberty and have been sworn to celibacy for a interval of thirty years. Then Elagabalus divorced her—which you weren’t alleged to do, both. Then he married her again—which, after all, you weren’t speculated to do. He was once so hated by means of his countrymen that he was once ultimately assassinated. He used to be in simple terms eighteen years outdated on the time. (Cassius Dio, Roman historical past seventy nine. nine. ) “SOMETIMES we will be able to REFUTE a press release through PRETENDING TO believe IT. while FABIA, DOLABELLA’S spouse, CLAIMED TO BE THIRTY, CICERO acknowledged, ‘THAT’S actual, FOR I’VE HEARD HER SAY IT FOR THE final two decades. ’” (QUINTILIAN, schooling OF AN ORATOR 6. three. seventy three. ) aspects of a Sesterce even if Emperor Elagabalus (A. D. 203–222) married and divorced 5 girls, we all know the names of in simple terms 3 of them. (Cassius Dio, Roman historical past eighty. nine. ) His first spouse used to be Julia Cornelia Paula, the second one used to be the vestal virgin Julia Aquilia numerous, after which there has been Annia Aurelia Faustina. (Herodian, Roman heritage five. 6. ) Faustina was once the widow of a guy Elagabalus had had achieved. yet he quickly divorced Faustina and remarried numerous. appears like a true women’ guy, correct? good, there’s a query approximately that. based on Cassius Dio, his such a lot unwavering dating turns out to were with a blond slave from chariot driving force, yet whom Elagabalus known as his husband. (Cassius Dio, Roman background eighty. 15. ) one other account claims that Elagabalus truly married an athlete from Smyrna named Zoticus in a public rite at Rome. (Historia augusta, “Life of Elagabalus” 10. ) IN ROMAN background, CASSIUS DIO WROTE THAT ELAGABALUS might PAINT HIS EYES, SHAVE HIS HEAD, put on WIGS, AND PROSTITUTE HIMSELF IN TAVERNS, BROTHELS, or even THE IMPERIAL PALACE. (80. 14. ) A vintage Prank Emperor Elagabalus invented a prototype whoopee cushion: a few of his humbler associates he could seat on air-pillows rather than on cushions and let loose the air whereas they have been eating, in order that usually the diners have been all at once came across lower than the desk. eventually, he used to be the 1st to consider putting a semi-circular workforce at the flooring rather than on couches, with the aim of getting the air-pillows loosened through slaves who stood on the toes of the site visitors and the air therefore let loose. (Historia augusta, “Life of Elagabalus” 2. 2. three. ) CALIGULA MADE ALL 3 OF HIS SISTERS, AGRIPPINA the more youthful, JULIA DRUSILLA, AND JULIA LIVILLA, HONORARY VESTAL VIRGINS, even if THEY have been ALL MARRIED.

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